5 things every man should own

This isn't meant as a comprehensive list of things a man should own. These aren't essential items to life. These are things that will enrich your life, and make you a better human being. Five things in no particular order:

Tuxedo

This should go without saying, but every man should own the most manly of outfits: the tuxedo. Over the past few decades, the tuxedo has devolved into a sorry parody of itself (much like the tuxedo-toting Pierce Brosnan James Bond). It has gotten so bad that men everywhere dread wearing them, and most certainly don't own one. But in recent years, it has made a comeback.

The reason why you should own a tux are many. But let's begin with the reason why so many men hate wearing them: rental tuxedos are ugly, uncomfortable, and they make an otherwise fit gentleman look like Tweedle Dee.

What is a tuxedo?
Simply put, a tuxedo is a semi-formal suit made of black material. What distinguishes a tuxedo from a black suit are the lapels and pants. The lapels of a tuxedo are made of a shiny material such as grosgrain or satin. A matching material is also applied to the outer seam on the pants providing a shiny stripe on the leg. Things like waistcoats and cummerbunds are optional, and I don't recommend them.

What's wrong with rental tuxedos?
Rental suits are made to fit the maximum number of men possible. It seems like the measurements they take of you in the store are just for show - part of the experience. I remember getting my measurements back once which were far off from my real measurements. I'm a 38 chest, and they had 44 written down. Plainly put, they're too big. They hang from your shoulders with too much material, making it look like you're wearing a parachute. They provide no form, so that masculine figure is hidden beneath the lumps of material. Finally, they're made from polyester for ease of cleaning, which is the worst material for suiting. Polyester doesn't breath as well as other fabrics, meaning you're hot and sweaty.

Another reason to own instead of renting is for economic reasons. A custom-fitted tuxedo (with custom shirt) will run just under $500 from Indochino. In my young adult life, I have been in at least six wedding parties so far, and I have more single friends ready to get married. I've easily spend $175 on each rental. If I had invested in my own tuxedo from the get-go, I could have saved over $500 already, I would have looked better, and I would have been more comfortable.

How should my tuxedo fit?
A tuxedo jacket, just like a suit jacket, is designed to accentuate the male figure. Strong shoulders, tight waist and tall silhouette are all very masculine. The suit jacket has some padding in the shoulder to make the shoulders stronger. The V shape of the lapels make the waist thinner, and the torso taller. The dark suiting material make the whole figure look taller. All of these are lost in off-the-rack suits and rental tuxedos, built for one-size-fits-all. Without proper fit, you will look bad, and will cherish the time the suit comes off.

A proper fitting jacket will hug your shoulders without pulling the shoulder or lapels. A simple test is to put the jacket on and lean the shoulder against the wall. The shoulder seam should hit the wall with your shoulder. The shoulder should not hit first, and your shoulder should not hit first. They should both hit together. The jacket sleeve should reach your wrist bone with your arms at your side. The waist should button comfortably allowing your fist to barely fit between your belly button and the jacket button. The jacket tails should fit inside your cupped hands as they hang at your side. It should not bunch in your hand, and it should not be too short to not be inside your cupped fingers. Here is a great guide.

What color should my tuxedo be?
There are really only two colors a tuxedo should come in. White or black. White jackets should be paired with black pants. But this is for a "white tie" affair. The vast majority of people will never attend such an event. Stick with a black tuxedo. (A midnight blue tuxedo is an acceptable substitute for black as it is so deep the two colors are hardly distinguishable.) Do not stray from this. Any time you would wear a tuxedo, you should not be trying to stand out from the crowd. These are worn at formal events where someone is usually honored, and it's usually not you. Be respectful.

Because too many people don't pay attention, here's one more reason to stick with the rules: Men's tuxedos (and lounge suits) are dark for two reasons.

1. Dark colors are slimming (see above)
2. The man's colors are dark so as to not attract attention away from the woman they are escorting.

Be respectful.

The shirt of a tuxedo is always white. The tie color may change if you are part of a wedding party, but generally the tie is black (of the same material as the lapels). A white linen pocket square is usually the finishing touch. Always wear freshly-shined black leather shoes.

What material should my tuxedo me made from?
Wool. Not wool-polyester blend. Not wool-cotton blend. Not Poly-cotton blend. Not polyester. Just wool. The lining will be made from satin. Anything else will be poor quality.



Wristwatch

In the "digital age" we don't have as much need for a timekeeping device as we once did. I have at least five time-telling devices on my desk. But don't think of a wristwatch as just a timekeeping device, think of it as a time machine.

Being plugged into the internet 24 hours a day, the analog wristwatch connects the man with the past, with masculine heritage. A well-made wristwatch also connects the man with the future. The watch has long been the inheritable treasure from father to son, connecting generations through a timeless timekeeper.

What kind of watch should I own?
Not just any watch will do. This is an investment you will make once in your lifetime, to last past your own expiration date. While you don't necessarily have to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a Rolex Submariner, it's best to invest in a classically timeless timepiece.

The movement should be analog, not digital. Your watch shouldn't have a battery. It will keep time through a process called "manual" or "automatic." Manual movement requires periodic winding of a knob to keep it moving. Automatic movement will use the normal movement of the wrist to keep itself wound.

Make sure the watch is built of high-quality materials by a highly-regarded company with years of experience. There are plenty of wristwatch sources to research the ideal watch for yourself. I'll get you started with Watchonista.

Pen

There is something remarkable about signing your own name with a hefty pen. But why should you invest in an expensive pen when cheap ones work just fine? One reason is self-satisfaction. A good pen is a work of fine craftsmanship. Another is knowing you always have a trusty pen on hand at all times. While some may envy your pen, they won't be confused thinking they can take the pen with them when they're done. When you pull that pen out of your pocket, you will be sure to put it right back when you're done.

What kind of pen should I own?
There are five basic types of pens, but you should only concern yourself with two.

• Fountain pen. This pen is for the most daring individual. Used for centuries, the fountain pen uses a water-based liquid ink delivered from a reservoir through a thin slit of a pointed metal tip called a nib. This requires deliberate writing, and practiced penmanship as the pen is not pressed into the paper, but gently glides along top.
• Rollerball pen. Don't let the name fool you, this is not a ballpoint pen (nor does it have anything to do with the terrible movies). The rollerball pen is a happy medium between a ballpoint pen and the fountain pen, and is generally less expensive than the fountain pen. Using water-based ink, the writing seems into the paper instead of drying on the surface, making a more satisfying character.

Pens can be inexpensive, or reach into the thousands of dollars. Yes, there are pen enthusiast clubs, so if you want to find some professional help selecting a pen, start with them.

Black Leather Oxfords

Every man should own a pair of handcrafted black leather oxfords. If you don't own another pair of dress shoes at all, you definitely should have these. They can be worn with casual clothes, business attire, or formal wear. Well-built ones will last you most of your life with proper care.

A good pair of shoes made from a quality company will be made from leather. The sole will be leather stitched to the leather upper. The heel will be made of wood with rubber.

These shoes will be cared for by placing cedar shoe trees inside them after taking them off. This will absorb moisture, keep the shape of the shoe, and fight odor. At least once per month, the shoe will be cleaned and polished. To learn how to shine, see this article.

Things to consider:

• Avoid trends. You want a shoe that will last a lifetime without telling the world you're stuck in the past. Timeless shoes for timeless gentlemen.
• Round toe is the way to go. Square toes are out of fashion now, but they were really only in fashion for a few years for the first time since Blackbeard terrorized the Eastern Seaboard. They were trendy then, and if they come back they will be trendy again. Round toes are not trendy, they will always be stylish.
• Cap toes are less formal than plain toes. But with a good pair of shoes (like those pictured above) will look just as good in formal situations.

You really can't go wrong with a shoe like this. It will always look good with any outfit.

Shaving Kit

Every man should already have some sort of shaving gear, but you don't want to be everyman, you want to be exceptional. You want to own a proper shaving kit.

What is included in a shaving kit?

• Razor You might not be ready to go with a straight razor, so stick with what you're comfortable with. Ditch the cheap razor, though, and get a nice steel or aluminum one. They are made to fit Mach 3 or Mach 4 blades, but they look better and will last longer. Or you can go old school and get a safety razor, which uses individual double-edged razor blades. Both razors have their benefits and weaknesses. The new technology razors have the benefit of being faster to use, and less risk of cutting your face. The safety razor has the benefit of being less expensive in the long run. After the initial investment in the razor, the blades are less than $0.50 each (compared with $2.50 each for Mach 4 blades). Professional barbers also recommend them for gentlemen who develop rashes with regular blades. As the safety razor only has one blade, there is less friction than multi-blade razors. The drawbacks of the safety razor are twofold: It's easier to cut yourself with these blades, and it takes longer to shave.
• Brush A badger-hair brush has long been the go-to for men. The brush develops soap or cream into a lather, and the bristles help scrub dead skin off the follicles, and lift the hair off the face for a closer shave. Yes, spraying gel from a can is faster, but it's hard to beat a brush and soap.
• Bowl Shaving soap can develop a very frothy lather, so you'll want a bowl. Shaving bowls or mugs store the soap and provide a place to whip up a lather. It's essential when using a brush.

With these items, the gentleman will have a more enriched, fulfilling life. I'm not the materialistic type of person. I don't think a man has to own everything, or anything to be happy. I take pleasure in little things. In experiencing a fine wine, or a juicy steak. These five things are not just stuff to have, they're experiential. Using them is indulging in the finer things of life. They might cost a few pennies to obtain, but they're each an investment that will last a lifetime.

Cook your own dinner

The 21st Century lifestyle is so fast-paced, we hardly make time to even take care of ourselves. One area we should make sure to look after is our health. Home cooked meals are healthier than most restaurant fair, and the art of cooking is itself a pleasurable experience.

Why should I eat at home?

Budget
If you are on a budget, there is no easier way to save money than by preparing your own food. A lunch out at a fast food restaurant can run about $8.00, on average. A dinner at a national chain-restaurant can easily cost about $22.00 each. The budget for home cooked meals can be met just with a lunch and dinner out.

Learning a skill
Learning a new skill and applying it is one of the most satisfying feeling a person has. Learning a new cooking technique is exciting, and fulfilling. There are dozens of easy to understand books to learn cooking. Community centers often have cooking classes. The internet is full of cooking instructional and videos. And with TV networks like Food Network and HGTV, we have more information on the art of cooking than ever before.



Health
California law requires restaurants provide nutritional information to patrons for all menu items. This has greatly increased my awareness of what goes into my body when I eat out. Even the more "healthy" dishes at the average restaurant is loaded with sodium (salt, sweeteners, MSG, preservatives). Just as one example, I'll randomly pick what one might consider a healthy meal from a T.G.I. Friday's menu. The Mediterranean Chicken Salad sounds healthy enough. Everyone knows Mediterranean food is healthy, and salads are a good alternative for the health-conscious. It does only have 425 calories, and only 12 grams of fat. But look at the sodium: 916 milligrams. That's nearly 40% of the daily recommended allowance for sodium (for a 2,000 calorie diet), just in one salad.

For the purposes of this article, I won't even talk about how much fats and calories are in restaurant foods - we all know it's astronomical. So let's review what high sodium can do to your health: High sodium diets can cause high blood pressure (hypertension), which substantially increases the risk of developing heart disease or stroke. Too much sodium has also been linked to an increased risk of stomach cancer.

Home made foods generally contain far less sodium. Why? Chain restaurants often have large prep-kitchens in distribution centers that prepare food portions, and then ship them to the restaurants for the final cooking. Because of this, they're loaded with preservatives to maintain color, moisture, and flavor. Additionally, restaurants load foods with sweeteners, MSG and salt because these enhance the flavor palette of the tongue, making everything else taste better. They want you addicted to their food so you'll come back. At home, you don't have to deal with shipment and storage times, and when you are adding salt to your dish, you're acutely aware of the amount you're using. You will only use enough to flavor the dish, not overwhelm your taste buds.

Plus, you never know what goes into some of this food.



Relaxation
I enjoy restaurants, and sometimes there is nothing more relaxing than blowing off domestic obligations for a nice night out. But oftentimes, we use the convenience of to-go foods to stuff more things into our daily schedule. Forcing yourself to take the time to be creative in the kitchen allows you to focus on something other than the trials of the day, and makes you slow down for about an hour.

A stronger family
If you're a parent, nothing can create a strong family relationship as easily as a family dinner. Pick a time, and be consistent. Even if nobody feels like being together, just do it. Time spent together creates strong bonds. Plus, studies have shown that a family dinner is a very reliable indicator of a child having good grades in school, and a more successful career.

Fun fact: The art of gift giving

Giving a gift can be a trying experience. We all want to give a gift that is memorable, but also something that the recipient will appreciate long after the giving.

Every year, my family passes around wish lists. These are great, but they're also boring.

A good gift tells the recipient that you know who they are. You understand them. A great gift is something they never thought they would want, but that they love.

Gift giving should have adventure. Be risky, and go for something unexpected.

Ride your bike to work

 Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images North America

With such busy lives, we hardly have time to get the exercise we so desperately need. This is a problem of priorities for most of us, of course, as we could work out instead of watching Modern Family, but we don't. We just complain to our friends that we really need to get into shape, but we just don't have time.

It might sound cliché, but how about you kill two birds with one stone and bike commute?

Why should I bike commute?

I think we're all aware that exercise is good for our bodies. Bicycle riding is one of the best cardiovascular exercises you can do. But I bet you didn't know it was also makes us happier.

Recently, psychologists at Harvard conducted a test where they contacted people at random using an iPhone app called Track Your Happiness to determine how people felt while conducting different tasks. The second most satisfying task people reported doing was exercise. Near the bottom of that list was commuting and working. Imagine if you could combine one of the happiest activities with one of the least?

It's true that turning something enjoyable into a chore can sometimes be exacerbating, but the cardiovascular pleasure of riding a bike, and the self esteem you will build, would certainly make the commute more pleasurable than sitting in traffic.

Regular exercise releases serotonin from the brain. Serotonin is a natural chemical in your brain that creates a sense of happiness and well-being. Sunlight also increases your levels of serotonin Low levels of serotonin causes irritability, depression, and anxiety. Riding your bike will literally change your mind.

How to commute by bike

Before you begin commuting by bicycle, you will need a few things.

• Bicycle A lot of us already have bicycles, but they're just sitting in the garage or on the patio. If that's you, just take it to the local bike shop and get it tuned up for safety and speed. If you don't have a bike, get one. I'll explain some details below.
• Helmet Be safe. A lot of drivers don't look for bicyclists. Follow the rules of the road, and wear a helmet.
• Plan You can't just hop on the bike and head to work, in most towns. Get on a map and plan a route. Google Maps can provide directions by bike. Spend a weekend riding the proposed routes to get to know it so you don't run into a surprise.
• Bags You will be carrying items with you. Most bike commuters find a small backpack is sufficient enough, but others prefer panniers (bike-mounted bags). This is a personal decision, so you'll want to check out the options.
• Supplies It is impossible to foresee all events. Be prepared with a spare tube, pump, patch kit and tools. Bike shops have small kits you can throw in a bag. But since you're headed to work, you'll also want to bring a few more items, or store them in your desk. Deodorant, a towel, hair comb/brush, and a change of clothes.

What kind of bike should I buy?

As with most things, a bicycle is a very personal decision. Everyone has different priorities on comfort, aesthetic, price, etc. But there are a few basic tips to help you understand what to look for in a commuter bike.

Size and fit
For the most comfortable ride, a proper-sized bicycle is imperative. You want your legs to fully extend on the down-stroke without going completely straight, where your knee can lock. The length of the bike will determine how horizontal your body will lie. The flatter you go, the faster you go - and the less comfortable. The more vertical you go, the more comfortable the ride, but you also provide less power to the pedals, and more air resistance.

I suggest reading this article on fit and watch this video.



Purpose built
There are several types of bikes built for specific styles of riding. I'll just focus on the main four types here.

• Cruiser The cruiser style bike has a very vertical seating position, wide tires with little tread, wide handlebars, and usually just a single gear. This type of bike is very comfortable to ride, but is intended for slow speeds. The wide tire and upright position are not conducive to fast road speeds.
• Mountain The mountain bike has become so prevalent that many people own them without ever riding them on off-road terrain. They have a strong frame, flat handlebar, multiple gears, slight forward posture, and wide, knobby tires. Many mountain bikes also have suspension in the fork. Everything about a mountain bike is for rough, tough riding. If you're riding on streets and sidewalks, you don't need a mountain bike. Everything about them will slow you down and wear you out. The suspension provides some comfort, but also requires more energy from you to accelerate. The wide, knobby tires provide a lot of resistance, and slow you down.
• Road The road bike is built for speed. There are variations on the road bike, but it generally has a lot of gears, horizontal posture, light frame, dropped handlebars, and skinny tires. These bikes are adequate for bike commuting as they take little effort to get up to speed.
• City These bikes go by a lot of different names: Commuter, Urban, Hybrid, Street, etc. These bikes are built for street riding at moderate speed. They're a little sturdier than racing road bikes, have a posture more like a mountain bike, a variety of gear options, and sometimes they have suspension. These types of bikes are ideal for commuting. They have skinny tires, but they're a bit wider than road bikes and with a slight grip. They're light, but they are strong and offer add-on features.

The most important issue when picking a bike is comfort. You won't be happy riding a bike you're not comfortable with.

Add-on features
These are a few features you'll want to add on to your bike for safety and convenience:

• Lights This will save your life. At night, it's dangerous to be riding a bicycle on the street without lights. You will need a taillight, and a headlight. You may also want to add reflectors or reflective tapes to add more visibility. Getting reflective clothing to wear while riding is also a very thoughtful safety feature.
• Pannier A pannier is a rack added to the front or back of the bike to allow adding bags. This will help you carry more without putting stress on your shoulders with a heavy backpack.
• Fenders Fenders attach to your bike to protect you from water, dirt, mud, oil or other debris on the roadway. The tires pickup this material and spray it onto your body. Since you're going to work, fenders will help keep you clean.
• Pedals Clipless pedals with bicyclist cleats will provide more power in your pedaling. These are only recommended for the serious cyclist who wants to get the most speed.

I used to drive my car thirty-five minutes from home to work. Now I ride my bike twenty minutes to work. I am not using any more time than I used to, but now I'm getting a daily exercise in the process - at least forty minutes every day.

I'm not saying I am riding my bike faster than I used to drive. I moved closer to work. If your commute is twenty miles from home, a bike commute may be more difficult. I have friends who bike commute that far or more, but it may not be for everyone. But with public transportation, you can easily ride a bus, subway or train closer to work and finish it off by bike.

If you do live under ten miles from the office, the commute by bike isn't substantially longer than by car. You might have to wake up earlier to make it happen, but you do want to be more disciplined, right? You do want exercise, so you'll need to prioritize it.

For more tips on bike commuting, check out this website.

5 things to do when being pulled over

From time to time there happens to be a Police car following us as we go about our day to day activities. Panic starts to set in, and we all begin going through a mental checklist: Was I speeding? Did I stop for the red light? Am I tailgating? Did I use my blinker?

Sometimes we're lucky enough to have the Officer stop "following" us because he turns in to where dispatch had sent him. And other times our stress level goes through the roof when those red and blue lights come on. If you're more so this unlucky type here are 5 things you can do...

1. This first step is taken before your nerve wracking contact with Law Enforcement: Make sure you have up-to-date paperwork in your vehicle (insurance and registration). And throw away all your old cards. There is no point in keeping insurance cards from 2005 A.D.; Antiques Roadshow won't be coming to your house to buy them.
2. Pull to the RIGHT! Not the left, and definitely don't stop right in the middle of the road or an intersection... To the right! After all that is what we learned in Drivers ED. 
3. After pulling over to the right, stop quickly. The Officer has numerous "traffic contacts" under his belt, and has selected that location and feels safe stopping you there. Don't continue on to where you want to go or think that you're making it safer for the Officer. Continuing to drive after the Officer turns on his emergency lights causes the Officer to think you have ulterior motives, and makes him wonder if you're going to stop at all. In Texas they're bound to run you off the road if you don't stop right away.
4. Wait until the Officer is at your door to start reaching for your paperwork, and until then keep your hands clearly visible, on the steering wheel is a great place. If you've completed step 1, then finding your paperwork shouldn't be a glovebox scavenger hunt. If you're being contacted at night: turn on your cabin lights and keep your hands on your wheel until contacted. Aside from Domestic Violence calls, traffic stops are the most dangerous thing that Officers do daily. Make them feel comfortable contacting you.
5. Don't "cop" an attitude, or come up with some harebrained excuse. While being polite might not always get you out of a ticket, it definitely can sway that in your favor. Plus being polite is something we should be anytime. If you do get a ticket, and you disagree with it; that's why there is a court date. Getting in a roadside argument isn't going to change anything, except maybe the Officer will circle "POOR" for your attitude on the back of the ticket. 

These 5 things should help you get through a traffic stop with your sanity, and in a timely manner.

Wake up early

In the age of the DVR and Hulu, there isn't any reason to stay up late on a week night. It is important to get enough sleep, but it's difficult to get this sleep when you're up after midnight, and you work at eight in the morning. And the mornings are hectic when there is barely enough time to get a shower and put on some clothes. I suggest a radical idea, for a young person. Wake up early.

Why should I wake up early?

The morning routine is often fraught with stress. Toilet. Shower. Shave. Clothes. Food. Rush to work. I know how it is. Most mornings, I miss one or more of these things. Spend a few more minutes in the shower, and now you don't have time to shave. Or maybe you don't eat breakfast and still get to work late. Whatever your morning ritual, I bet you wish you had more time to complete it.

The working man
As an employed worker, the main purpose of waking up early is to arrive on time, and ready to work. If you're not on time, or not ready to work when you do arrive, you are cheating your employer. Don't think they don't notice this. Having more time to prepare for work in the morning will make you more ready to work when you arrive (on time).

If you work as an independent contractor, or if you're self-employed, the morning is a great time to plan your day. Before the busyness of the day's tasks, you can spend some time thinking about what needs to be done, and putting together a game plan for how it will go down. Preparation will make the whole day easier. Just knowing there is a plan is a great help.

Personal fulfillment
There's also a personal benefit to rising early: Slowing down your morning will provide you with less stress throughout your day. Maybe you just need more time to complete the tasks you already undertake in the morning. Maybe some of that extra time can just go to quiet contemplation or meditation. Quiet time to read a book or magazine to get your brain engaged for the day.

For the more industrious amongst us, the morning is a great time to get some of the house chores completed. Getting these done while you still have energy will allow you to get home from work and just relax without the guilt that comes from neglecting the domestic duties.

Or maybe you just want to get fit, and can't seem to find the time in your busy schedule. Waking up early provides you the time to have a jog, or maybe put in that exercise DVD you bought six months ago but couldn't find time to use. Not only will you feel better about yourself for finally getting active, exercise will help you feel better throughout the day.

How to wake up early

As with anything: it's easier said than done. Routines and habits are hard to break. So you will have to be deliberate. But you don't have to do it all at once.

Get in bed
This seems like such a simple thing to say, but it's important. If you get in bed, you will fall asleep. Don't think hanging out on the computer, playing a video game, or watching TV on the couch will put you to sleep. The bright, flickering images actually keep you awake longer, and disrupts your sleep. Just get under the covers, and prepare for sleep. Read a book, or listen to music.

You need to get in bed earlier if you are planning on waking up earlier. As I said in the opening, sleep is important. You need between seven and eight hours of sleep to really recharge your batteries. Yes, staying up late to watch CSI might be relaxing after a long day at work, but sleeping is even more relaxing, and it will make you feel better the next day.

Set your alarm
You probably have an alarm set already. In that case, just move the alarm earlier. If you wake up at 7:00 AM now, I don't suggest jumping to 5:00 AM immediately - you'll probably just feel terrible and give up on the idea. Instead, move your clock early gradually in 5-minute increments every other week until you're at the desired awake time. You'll hardly notice the difference.

Move your alarm
I'm sure most young people these days just use their cell phones as alarm clocks, but this still applies: Don't keep your clock on your nightstand. Put it someplace that will cause you to get out of bed to turn it off. This cures the snooze button.

An added benefit for those who do use their cell phones: The science behind cancer and cell phone use hasn't settled yet, but it's probably better to be safe than sorry. Some studies do show a risk of cancer from cell phone use. If your cell phone is on your night stand, just inches away from your head for hours on end, you may be running a high-risk scenario.

Eat like a king
Breakfast is said to be the most important meal of the day. Studies have shown eating a healthy breakfast will help you focus the rest of the day, and will provide energy throughout the day. You know the saying, "Breakfast like a king. Lunch like a prince. Dinner like a pauper."

I have moved my mornings early recently, and I find the benefits tremendous. I now have an hour in the morning to work out three days a week, and the other two weekdays are used catching up on reading, or some other activity I lost time for recently. It even carries over to the weekend, where I find myself much more relaxed. Give it a try.

Get on a budget

This is a guest post from Tim Kippel:

How to get on a budget is easy, I can point you to some helpful websites and say, “There you go!” So maybe the question isn’t “How?” but “Why?” Maybe this “Why” comes to your attention when you start getting overdraft notices in the mail or your inbox. Or maybe you finally get around to looking at your accounts and say, “Where the hell did all my money go?!” It could even be that you feel strapped even though you make more money than all of your friends. For me it was a combination of all these things that pushed me to taking a harder look at budgeting.

Why should I get on a budget?

Not only do taxes eat up our hard earned money, but wasteful spending is also to blame. I’ve been one of those types that makes spontaneous purchases. Like that gal Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite is trying to sell Tupperware too, and lures her into the purchase by saying he’d throw in the wooden schooner; I too go, “I want that!” What would help me is to make a list of those things that I want, and sitting on it for awhile just to see if my feelings change. I’m not talking about the essentials like groceries, but those big ticket items - or even small ticket items - ones that I can truly live without. Want vs. Need.

Taking control of your spending takes discipline. Something that I’m not quite “there” with just yet. And if you’re married, living on a budget isn’t something that only one of you has to do - you must truly work as a team to make it work.

Just like being disciplined to a (good) workout regimen will yield results, so will budgeting. And much like physical fitness, budgeting is also trying. Knowing where you spend your money, and having a plan for spending money brings with it peace. Yes even if you have to turn down a fun weekend trip with friends because “It’s just not in the budget.”

So take control of your finances before they take control of you.

Are you living to work or working to live?

Here are some resources:

• Mint keeps tabs on all your spending with handy smartphone apps
• Crown Financial Ministries offers useful budgeting tools and calculators
• Dave Ramsey had downloadable budgeting forms to help you plan your spending

Value punctuality

Here in Southern California, it seems like nobody ever arrives on time. I've witnessed several organizations move their starting time back to accommodate latecomers. This starts a cycle where the tardy adjust to the new time, and then arrive late still. After a few time changes, the organizer will generally stick with an announced begin time, and then start it later. It sort of helps, because it doesn't inconvenience those who arrive on time too much, while providing less embarrassment for the latecomers. But the stragglers still arrive late, knowing "they never start on time."

In Southern California, this is probably because we live in our cars, so we're always underestimating the time it takes to get to the location. It could also be we don't have a defined social contract anymore, so some people value punctuality while others view meeting times informally.

Why should I be punctual?

There doesn't appear to be any rules about what merits a firm arrival time. Wedding invitations usually have a "ceremony begins at" time, suggesting you arrive before the time, but some weddings start at the time, and others start later. Some churches start on time, and others start later. Even in the business world, meeting times aren't always firm.

Avoid all of the awkwardness, and simply arrive on time.

Being punctual announces to your friends and family that you are reliable. Everybody knows "that guy" who is always late. He seems to rush from one place to another, being perpetually late. It could just be that he's a "yes man" and agrees to be everywhere at once, but it comes across as being disrespectful of others' time.

Being punctual at work signals professionalism, reliability, and attention to detail. Everyone should know to be on time for a job interview, but after you're hired you should still always be on time. Employers don't appreciate employees who are always coming in late.

Leave five minutes earlier than you think you should. Are five more minutes at home really more important to you than the time of your appointment?

Every day, I see the same guy in the same truck driving like a crazy person on his way to work. His reckless speeding and weaving through traffic are dangerous, and they would literally only save him seconds on his commute. If he would only leave five minutes earlier, he wouldn't have to speed through a school zone, and stress himself out trying to get to work.

There are things you simply can't foresee, like a long traffic light, or getting stuck behind an old woman in her wheelchair. By planning ahead, you can avoid tardiness by giving yourself a buffer of a few minutes. It takes me ten minutes to drive to work, so I give myself at least fifteen minutes. If I'm early, I can always listen to the news for a few minutes, or clean up my desk a bit.

For social gatherings, it's hardly ever considered impolite to arrive early - as long as you're not too early. Five to twenty minutes early isn't a big deal.

Punctuality is a virtue

If there is one maxim that is true for wealthy individuals, it is that time is money. Their most important asset is money. This is why they will spend more to avoid waiting. Private jets, personal physicians and chefs, the fastest internet connection, and couriers. But more than just money, time is respect.

If there is one thing I know about relationships, it is the fact that time is important. It's important in developing attachment, connections, and long-term relationships. Punctuality supports this by reinforcing respect and trust in the relationship. You respect their time when you arrive when you say you will. They can trust you to be there for them when you promise you will be there.

The most important reason for valuing punctuality: being punctual means you are a man/woman of your word.

You don't want to give the impression that you only care about yourself, and you don't want to be untrustworthy. You want to be responsible, reliable, and honest.

Demand punctuality

I think a lot of people are perpetually late because there have not been any demands placed on them. We accommodate them and enable their tardiness when we aren't prompt with our schedules.

If you're in charge of an event, make sure everyone knows when it will begin. If you are planning a time for mingling before you get going, put on the invite the arrive time and the begin time. This will let people know when they are expected to arrive, and gives them a definite time they will definitely be late.

Start on time. Don't tell yourself, "More people are coming, just a few more minutes." When you do that, you're making everyone wait for a few people, and you're telling everyone that their time isn't as important as the stragglers. It also tells the tardy that their punctuality is not mandatory, because "they always start late."

The benefits of punctuality

You will be more relaxed. Instead of having to rush places, you can travel at a more comfortable pace. You won't have to run to the time-clock at work. No more squeezing through aisles at church in the middle of the service. No more tardies at school. More invites to parties with the expectation you'll be there.

Don't be the person everyone has to wait for.

Learn CPR

If you are in an emergency situation: call 911.

You've seen it done on countless television programs and movies. It's a valuable asset. It saves lives. There is no excuse for not learning how to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). This is an important skill everyone should know, without exception. It is especially important if you have a loved one that is at risk for stroke or cardiac arrest.

Before I begin explaining what CPR is and how to administer it correctly, I will first give a disclaimer: I am not a certified instructor, and anything I say here is strictly intended to encourage you to seek training from a professional instructor. I suggest searching for a local Red Cross. Red Cross offers courses and certification relatively inexpensively.

Why should I learn CPR?

CPR is a lifesaving technique proven effective in keeping individuals alive while emergency medical services (EMS) are in route. In the event of cardiac arrest, if CPR is not administered within two minutes, serious brain damage may occur. It is important to stress that CPR is not intended to be the sole technique, the first step is to call 911. CPR will provide oxygen and blood to the brain while waiting on EMS.

Because CPR is so effective, certain employers require certification. This would include medical/dental staff, childcare providers, security staff, and many others. Certification includes a CPR card to prove to your employer you are trained.

But the main reason you want to learn CPR is because you're a good person. You love your family and friends, and you love your community. Knowing CPR can make all the difference in difficult situations.

What is CPR?

When the heart stops, so does blood circulation. Blood carries oxygen to all the cells in your body, including your brain. When cells lose oxygen, they begin to die. CPR includes a combination of rescue breathing and chest compressions, which does two things

• Provides oxygen to the lungs, which is delivered to the bloodstream
• Moves the oxygenated blood through the body, especially to the head

Call 911! CPR will not correct heart failure, but it will prevent brain damage while waiting for EMS to arrive.

The CPR technique includes four steps:

1. Call 911
2. Tilt head back to open airway, check for breathing and pulse
3. Two breaths
4. Thirty chest compressions

Repeat 2-4 until help arrives.

There is an easy way to remember these last three steps. It is ABC. Airway, Breathing, Circulation.

• A: Open the airway.
• B: Breathe for the patient.
• C: Circulate the blood.

It is important to check for breathing and pulse so you are not causing the patient any harm. If they are breathing and/or have a pulse, do not work on them. Just call 911, make sure their airway is open, and wait for EMS (checking the patient periodically).

Don't panic! Panicking will cause you to forget or rush these steps.

You should wait 10-15 seconds for signs of breathing. Open their airway, feel for a breath, listen for a breath, and look for a breath. Feel. Listen. Look. Put your ear above the patient's mouth with your eyes facing their chest. If the patient is breathing, do not give rescue breathing.

If a patient is breathing but has no pulse: call 911, open the airway and just do chest compressions.

How do I do CPR?

Like I said at the outset: if this is an emergency, call 911. Seek professional training. This will only cover adult cardiac arrest.

A - Airway. Lay the patient on her back. Tilt the head all the way back. This moves the tongue out of the throat. Open the mouth. Check for obstructions.

B - Breathing. Pinch the nose to prevent air from escaping. Cover their entire mouth with your mouth. Make one deep breath. Check for chest rising. Inhale away from their mouth, and make a second breath.

C - Circulation. Find the sternum. It is the bone in the center of the chest directly above the heart. This is usually right between the two nipples. It is better to be too high than too low, as being too low can cause internal bleeding. Press down about 2-inches rapidly 30 times. The speed should be about 100 compressions for minute. Repeat at A.


The ABC's of CPR -- powered by eHow.com

What about children?

If a child is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse, it's probably not a cardiac arrest. Administer CPR for two minutes before calling 911.

I hope this article has encouraged you to improve your penmanship and become A Better Human Being!

Improve your handwriting skills

How many times per week do you write a note for someone in the office only to have them bring it back so they can get the correct spelling? In my job, I'm on both sides of this issue - both giving and receiving notes. It might just be annoying for other people who have to read what you've written, but it's most critical when dealing with names, addresses, phone numbers, and other bits of information that are critical. It's not just spelling that needs to be improved, but the handwriting itself.

I know why my handwriting is bad; it's because I'm impatient. My handwriting becomes increasingly bad as the word count increases. The letters start turning into random vertical and horizontal lines. My u looks like an n. My n looks like a u. Why are my p's so big? Is that an o or an e?

Sometimes I don't write actual words, but partial words, or even strange symbols that vaguely resemble Roman characters. This is usually when I'm writing a note for myself to remember something. Usually just a partial word will bring the task to my mind, but if it sits there for a while I'll forget completely what the symbol ever stood for.

Why should I care about my handwriting?

There are many reasons why you should care about your handwriting. The first is simple: it presents yourself to others as intelligent. You're smart, but people who read your handwriting may judge you based on your script. If you're chicken-scratch looks like it was drawn with a big crayon by a 4-year-old, people are going to underestimate your intelligence.

But there are other reasons you want to improve your handwriting skills:

• Increased chances at landing a job. Many employers still use handwritten employment applications. Chances are the applications filled out clearly, legibly, and thoughtfully will get more attention than the ones which are hard to read, misspelled, and uninformative. There are many skills employed in finding a job, but if your prospective employer can't read what you're writing, she may not know what those other skills you have are.
• Increased productivity. Imagine how much time you would save if you only had to do everything once. It's not a lot of time, relatively, compared to other tasks throughout your day, but for every minute you take away from one task to correct mistakes in past tasks, you lose at least three minutes from your daily output. Having to answer questions concerning a note you wrote by hand will certainly pull you away from your current task.
• Increased self-esteem. We all fill better knowing we've mastered an art. I'm not necessarily advocating learning calligraphy, but as you see your penmanship improve, you will feel the pride associated with achieving something. And apart from that, being able to write love letters, thank you notes, and even in your diary is certainly a great feeling. I feel like I'm encumbered with my poor handwriting as I always have my wife fill in greeting cards and guest lists. 

How do I improve my penmanship?

There are a few simple techniques to improve your penmanship. By practicing these techniques a few minutes a week will help improve your handwriting skills.

• Practice writing with your hand and arm in the air on a white board/chalk board. Move your arm and shoulder, not wrist and fingers. Draw simple shapes (circle, triangle, etc) before going to characters.
• Write full sentences instead of single characters. The transitions between letters is as important as the characters themselves. Try writing "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," and then "THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG" to practice upper and lowercase characters.
• Copy text from a book, newspaper or magazine. This will keep you interested in what you're writing. (As a bonus: it also helps you retain the information you're reading.)

"Practice makes perfect," they always say. This is easy to say, but how does one practice? I don't think I need to rewrite the manual, so I'll just point you at a few choice websites.

• PaperPenalia is a great resource. It has pictures to help guide you, and practice techniques to help improve your penmanship.
• Handwriting Worksheets offers printable pages to practice writing.
• wikiHow has a good tips and nice video tutorial.

I hope this article has encouraged you to improve your penmanship and become A Better Human Being!